I discovered my place while attempting to avoid another one. My twitter posts were focused on the issues I was having before during and after quitting my job at the beginning of this semester. Since I still find that topic very depressing, I wanted to steer clear of it. Quitting was such a hard decision and I am still struggling with the change and so it continued coming up in my tweets. I realized it would be nearly impossible to not address this topic in my Twitterive in any way so I began taking a closer look at the issues that were coming up after my resignation. One that has always been there, but seems to bother me more at this time of uncertainty, is the trouble that I have completing a conversation with my mother.
Since I can never tell when she has stopped listening, I can talk to her for long periods of time before I realize she hasn't been paying attention. I have chosen to make my place the feeling of building frustration and despair that results from these incomplete conversations. I have begun to feel like an outsider in my home, since it feels like I am the only one who encounters this problem with my her. Even though I know my mom very well, these conversations make her seem like a stranger to me, especially since I've tried to address the problem several times. My repetend is the feeling of talking to myself. All of my attempts to address the issue fall on deaf ears. It is also important to not that although this is something that bothers me, it does not define my relationship with my mom. It is just one place in our relationship.
The follow tweets inspired this Twitterive and vice versa:
- The funny thing is, when I pretend to not listen to her she doesn't seem to notice. How do I get through???!!! #twitterive
- She thinks I'm dramatic. Maybe I am, but how would she know when she only ever hears half of any story? #twitterive #mommyissues
- Look at me!!! #twitterive
- I can't live with her, but I definitely can't live without her. #twitterive #mommyissues
- Ever have one of those dreams when you're talking but no sound comes out? When I'm awake I'm talking, but no one can hear me #twitterive